Christmas in T-minus two days....or one day and 13.5 hours. Am I ready for it? No. Wrapping done... almost, 90% done, have some bigger items left and some other santa stuff left. Baking is basically done except one thing, I will make a pumpkin cheesecake tomorrow. I have baked a carrot/spice/pumpkin cake with choco chips and cherries in it. YUM, it smelled so good when I was baking it. I baked sugar cookies, chocolate m&m's cookies, pecan chocolate chip cookies. No pies this year I guess. I may bake brownies tomorrow also, just because.

Okay, quick update.. 21wks, my back is just killing me. Everything is so hard to do and I can not imagine going through the whole pregnancy like this. I now have a pillow for my back in the car when I drive. Other than this, I am doing okay. No real issues. Baby is active, our big ultra sound is on 1/8!!! So we will know more then...


Onto the pictures! As I promised so long ago, here are some...

Jessica and I, right before she went out on her Winter Formal Date,


Jessica, my Mom and myself last month at her craft show


Hannah and her elusive smile, We are starting to see it more now. This is also with her little brother Zack.


Joe with thumbs up, trying to be cool in front of the Xmas Tree


Me at 20wks, almost two weeks ago.


Merry Christmas Everyone! I love you all and thinking of everyone. Pray for my surro girls, Lillie is just now walking and Ellie had some minor surgery, she is doing good. Nathan is the same, loving school.

I feel like this journal is a long lost friend that I just started talking to again.

I am 18wks. I have been seeing my OB a lot lately. I have been having headaches, which is very unusual for me. My bloodpressure is borderline, not high but not ideal.... I just saw him and he put me on a low dose med. They are awful, the side affects are worse than the headaches themselves. I will put a call into him tomorrow for an appt. When I am not on the meds I feel good, no headaches. Sucks that a bad week can ruin the last couple of weeks. Urgh. Heartbeat has been high, 150's and 160's. The last ultra sound show that the baby was sucking its thumb then the other hand thrown over its head, like Lillie and Ellie! We are waiting for the big ultra sound/gender check in Jan so both of my IFs can make it down.

Being a huge Twilight fan, loving the books I saw New Moon and it was wonderful! I plan to go back and see it again!!! I was super impressed with Taylors acting abilities (hes the werewolve). I truely enjoyed the movie. I want to see 2012 next and maybe Planet 51 with Joe. We'll see. Harvey asked for my Christmas list, so I gave him a list of books I wanted or a gift certificate to our local used book store! **Jesseca, I still have your Marley and Me!!! Time for lunch again hun...its been too long, miss you.

At a urging of friend, I put my stockings up on SMO in the yard sell section and they are selling wonderfully! Its nice to get rid of some of them. Last year I made so many that this year I didnt even attempt to make anymore. I also listed some of my material that I use up to make some special orders and that has worked out. I am super pleased. I just dont have the energy to do Ebay this year, I know they would sell if I put them up, they always do. Its strange what sells and what doesn't. On ebay last year I couldnt make enough Ariel, the Little mermaid stockings and Yankees and Pixar Cars! I thought for sure I would sell my New England Patriots stockings and I can not sell them....so go figure...

My daughter Jessica, that drama is just waiting to explode again, I can feel it. I just dont want to give in anymore. I feel like I have given up so much already. She did however go to her first Winter Formal dance, she was asked out by a fellow freshman in her math class. They looked so cute!

Thanksgiving went well. We hosted it again this year, in our crappy little house but everyone showed up and had a good time. We had so much food! I cooked a 20lb turkey with all of the fixin's and Harv barbied Cornish game hens and did sweet potatoes from scratch. Hannah and I baked a pumpkin cheesecake from scratch, made our own crust and it was a huge hit.

Joe starts school up again in the morning. WOHO!!! He missed it so much, poor little guy. He was very excited tonight. He has seen Santa three times already this year, once at Bass Pro Shops in which we got pictures, once at my Moms craft show in which we got pictures of and ocne at the Mall. He is so excited about Christmas, was bouncing off of the walls about it today begging me to tell what one of his presents are... After the second time asking me I told him that if he asked me again I would take one gift back! He found something else to do...LOL....

Krys my step son has been moved out some time now with his new girlfriend, Kelly now for about 2 mnths maybe. Joe missed him terribly when he left but it was sure nice having some quiet again. We shall see how long this works out. Harv and I both agree that the only reason that he moved out with Kelly was because she got kicked out of her house by her step dad.... We felt like he was being pressured into it. She is however nice, has two jobs and goes to culinary school. So kuddos to her.

I promise to post with pictures. I owe you a belly shot, one of Jessica in her formal dress and Joe with Santa! Surro kids are doing wonderful, Lillie is UPRIGHT!!!!! OMG!!! The guys send me pics all of the time and are so good at emailing, I super appreciate it. I heard from Hal, they are fine. Nathan is the same, going to school, active. I havent gotten an updated picture though...but.... I count my blessings.

Looking forward to feeling better....and putting up my Christmas tree.

Its been a super weird ten days. Fourth was quiet, but nice. Harv cooked up a storm and for an army. Jessica was away on a week vacation with her Dad so I didn't have her. Oh Gosh I missed her, even go to the point that I didnt sleep well and by tonight, when she was due home I was hanging out by the front door for her to come in.

I intereviewed for two job positions through one interview. Thats exciting. The position I really want is part time, super close by and off in time to pick up Joe from school. The other is full time about thirty minutes away. I was so nervious, it has been ten years since I interviewed for a job and all of the jobs I have interviewed I have gotten so I have some track record to live up to. Its just a secratary job, nothing special and both jobs follow a normal traditional school time table. I should receive a letter of either decision in about ten days and if I do get a job I will need to pass all background checks and get fingerprinted. It doesn't start until mid August.

Okay, now for my really big news. No, I am not pregnant and we are cycling in August. Anyhow..... my Step Dad Don has two grown sons he has been out of touch for the last 26yrs and found his youngest through facebook!!! On a whim or sorts I emailed him really low key and just asked him if his bio Dad was Don!!! And it was, after a couple of emails we established I wasnt a stalker and I really did know Don!!!! His son has a really unusual name so it wasn't super hard to find his name and narrow it down because he was about my age. So we talked via FB messaging and he got his older brother on phone, Dons oldest son and told him what was going on! So late fourth of July I was on the phone with Don's youngest son, it was wild. Totally wild. Long story short Don kept away from his sons because of his exwife. His sons now hold a lot of anger about situation and it was agree'd that she wouldn't find out about the contact. Anyhow, I got all of his son's contact information, some other family members information. I called Mom the next morning, made her go into another room to tell her. Don's health isn't good so I wanted to tell him in a way that it wouldn't utterly shock him. So Mom broke the news and I came over the next day with all of the info. THEN...lol.... I got another message through FB that Don's twin brothers son, his nephew asked me how he was and wanted to know his contact info. Don and his twin had a falling out and hadn't spoken to each other in a super long time either and I got his phone number. I passed it onto Don and along with talking to his son after twenty six years, he also spoke to his brother!!!! His sons were amazed that they were talking to him, his oldest was very overwhelmed with emotion as soon as Don introduced himself, "Hello "A", this is your Dad, I love you, gosh, I have missed you....". A was so overrun with emotion, crying he could hardly speak. A was a wild child and I guess carried a lot of guilt about what he did to his Dad growing up. Any how, Don's younger sister also was able to contact and they spoke, Don was close to his little sister so it was very touching to me to hear, to witness it actually, "Hi Sis, This is Don, I have missed you so much..." then having the phone call ending, "I love you sis, I can't wait to see you"...

Okay, so for the other whirlwind.... Don's brother, identical twin brother, Ron is coming out from Texas with his wife THIS Mon or Tues!!!!! They have a flight out but they are standby, so he is rushing out to see him. It's just so touching to witness Don's side of the family to come and rally around him. Having heard all of the "I love yous, I miss yous, I am sorry's and I am so glad to finally speak to you's" this week has been not only healing for him but heart warming. I hope this will enable everyone to start to heal.

Say a prayer. Don's twin looks exactly like him except without the facial hair and his hair is whiter! What a riot!

I am pretty sure that this cycle hasn't worked. I have decided that I don't like my IFs being so far. Entertaining the thought of trying to find some closer.

Anyhow, picture update time folks. Finally!

Jessicas 8th grade graduation. Hannah and I put together a large gift basket of stuff together including some Victoria Secret body washes and sprays, flip flops, a new hair straightener, choco, magazines..... with more stuff and a bunch of balloons. We also decorated her room with banners and tons of balloons on her floor!!!



Joe's Back To School Night


Joe got to go to a local minor league baseball game for meeting all of his reading goals and they pictured him on the big screen and I was quick enought to get it!!!!


Jess and Joe in their baseball uniforms this season

Well my new set of IFs and I cycled this past weekend. It went okay. My timing was just okay I felt and having a stressful time predicting my ovulation. So I am in the two week wait but I am going to call it a negative. I caught a head cold while I was with them and I have been having a rageing fever now for two days. I am taking meds to reduce it but, still, meds and early pregnancy isn't a good combo. So, again, sucky timing.

Krys wrecked my PT Cruiser on the 205 coming home from a ball game in the Bay Area. His fault and my car is undriveable, front end is totally smashed in. Thanks.

My poor baby car.

Bad icky sucky week.

Having long distances IF's is hard. I am thinking I really wish they were local.

Jess is at her softball game this last weekend. I get a phone call from "him" asking for her since she isn't picking up her phone... I tell him that she is playing softball at her game. He then proceeds to yell at me saying I was never notified of the game. I said he was, in BOTH emails I sent him of her softball schedule like he asked me do to do... TWICE!!! And I STILL get yelled at.

Sometime you aren't just meant to win.FML
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These are how I feel. Just from a funny website I read that makes me laugh.

Today, I had a horribly realistic dream where I was being robbed and had to swallow my wedding ring to save it. After waking up, I realized my wedding ring is in fact gone. The doctor assures me that I will have it back in a day or two. FML

Today, I had to water my entire garden. After an exhausting hour of watering hundreds of plants, I turned off the hose and started to feel good about the grueling job. That is, until it started pouring rain. FML

Today, as a prank, my friends put a big bucket of water on my door so that it would spill on me as I exited my room. It would have been funny if I hadn't been holding my $900 laptop as I was walking out. FML

Today, my adorable 8 year old son told me he no longer wanted me to pick him up from school. When I asked why he said. "I told everyone at school my mommy is pretty... and I don't want people to know I lied". FML

Today, I found out the identity of the pervert who's been staring at me through my bedroom window in the late hours of the night. My parents and I decided to set out a trap for 'him' instead of reporting to our local cop. Turns out, we caught my 37 year-old neighbor in the act. He's the cop. FML

Today, my left-handed boss needed PC help. I said "right-click for the menu." She said nothing happened. Three times we went through this. Eventually I went over, asking her to show me what she did. She was using her right hand on the left mouse button. She earns $10,000 more than me. FML